The effects of mental illness are as real as a broken arm, even though there isn't a sling or cast to show for it.
To talk or not to talk
Mental illness, however it presents itself can be very lonely, scary and confusing! Let me dive in, feet first! I am currently suffering with a mental illness that is unfortunately visible to everyone around me so sometimes I don't have the option of not talking about it.
Uncomfortable? Hell yeah! Sometimes I do need to talk, but when and who to is my choice, surely. I didn't talk about my illness until the time came to where I had no other choice and it was hard, hard admitting it to myself and hard to hurt the loved ones around me. And yes its still hard, hard to get the feelings out. People with mental illness don't need others to understand what they are going through, they need support, nurture and love, but most importantly someone who wont judge them!
So yes, talking can help. Is it still lonely? of course, sometimes but in reality you are the one going through this and I don't think the loneliness and fear really go away!
It's difficult for me when people make assumptions, yes they can see something is wrong but they don't know what that something is. I've come across this a lot lately and it can be utterly heartbreaking to say the least. When you have a mental illness you get so used to putting a fake smile on your face so that nobody notices anything is wrong, but why? well for me, I felt ashamed, very ashamed. " I am an intelligent person, why have I let this happen?" I used to say, but that's it, I know now that I haven't let it happen, I didn't ask to be this way, I wouldn't haven chosen this for myself! ITS NOT MY FAULT!
I am still very much at the beginning of my lengthy journey but I made that first step, that huge, giant leap in asking for help so although I have a way to go, I think i am finally ready to begin my journey!
Every journey is different, and for me, even writing this was difficult. There is help, there is a light at the end of that dark, lonely tunnel but you just have to ask!
"Start by doing what is necessary, then do what's possible;and suddenly you are doing the impossible"-Saint Francis of Assisi
